Those were my words for you, from the deepest of my heart. My thoughts with the limited ability of my tongue were trying to slip from my lips to produce words. I was forcing them to make sense in you, to make them meaningful for you. My heart and brain coordination were lost. The connection was slipping and I was losing. I was losing you. I was losing this game before even starting, before even making my first move. I was desperate, choking in my own maneuver...

For the first time in many years and after many incidents and contradictions, I was feeling the same again. I was hoping to breakout and run away, hide and bury myself under soil. Yet, the impulse and passionate instinct towards the mere view of you was holding me there.

I remember the first times, the beginning of all this fuss and mess. It was so classic and ordinary, we were accidentally happened to drink in the same pub with a group of drunkard as like a normal night that happens to cover all the coincidences like this. A formal greeting, having drinks and small talks. But I knew from the very beginning. I have to admit, I never put an eye on you. You were off limit, off my league. As a person who is always master of controlling herself, of course, I was so controlled over all your tempting looks and smiles. Your smile! Oh God. it is so perfect and sincere. You can push my buttons and change my mood in seconds with just one smile. Your pale face, greenish hazel eyes and auburn hair in addition to your tall and well-shaped body. Like a Greek god posing in front of me.

I have never told you these things and you will probably never read these lines. Still, it's an open ending letter. This encounter didn't give me pain for the first time. you grabbed my hand and pulled me up many times while all of the others pushed me down. You. You are the only one taking me up. Putting me up in the clouds.

This story just started, cheers to many more to come.